Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
