Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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