I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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