OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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