The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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