at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
