He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
