shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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