i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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