i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
