East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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