You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just had sex on a roof
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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