i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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