I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
