I just saw a hot homeless man
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
