who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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