like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
