Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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