Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
