So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
