So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
