operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
