what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
