So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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