I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
