...so i touched it.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
