She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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