Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
