her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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