If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
