All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
