The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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