He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
