did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
