He kissed a someone with a penis
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just pee around me
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
