come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
