My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
