You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
