Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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