I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
