My Higher Power is John Stamos
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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