i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
