but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i believe in u and ur pee
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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