My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
