I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
