We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
How naked do you want me to be?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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