she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
