I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
