the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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