First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
