At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
