man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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