I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
